Monday, 9 January 2017

Dear Men, I am sorry.

You can't blame women for the feeling of disgust towards you. Women adore you and respect you in all forms and phases of their lives but still if we don't know you the first feeling will be of hate and disrespect towards you.
I know it's not your fault but there was an uncle who rubbed my back after giving me chocolate then started rubbing my ass. I hated that uncle and then all the uncles. It wasn't your fault.. 
I don't hate you.
I know you're kind and respectful but there was a cousin who threatened me to strip naked in front of him because he caught me bunking the tuition with my friends once at chaat corner. I hated that cousin and then all the cousins. It wasn't your fault, I don't hate you.
I know you had been protective to all the women you met so far but whenever I travelled by bus there were some unknown men who rubbed their body on my shoulders when I was seated or I could feel them behind when I was standing. They stared at my breast and underarms when I held the handle. I hated the unknown stranger and then all the unknown strangers. It wasn't your fault.
I know you never considered me weak but there were some elderly grandpas and my father too who always rebuked me when I wore jeans and played with my younger ones. They never let me know the good side of you. Always said never to befriend you and stay miles away. You never trusted your kind, how could I? I hated those relatives who made me hate you. I never wanted to.
I know you're good but there were some of you who tried to touch me or when they couldn't because I fought back they painted the walls of the college calling me a whore. All of them passed comments and then some more started talking.. I hated those classmates and then I hated all the college mates.. I don't hate you.
You're amazing, you're adorable but once there was a guy I didn't hate just like you, I loved and touched, I trusted and understood all these people I hated so far or made me hate others were just another side of the world. I was happy you made me complete then you broke it all, you mocked me, you made your friends touch their body over how we made love. You captured it all. I hated you and never could trust anyone at all.
My family gave me to you and said I'll live and die with you henceforth. I smiled and accepted the decision made happy everyone then you started yelling at me, didn't let me work, kept me engaged in family and children, you wanted another you from me I couldn't But I gave you my replica..
Something I thought will change my life l, made it hell and your son, father, brother as well yelled at me as if I'm nothing and can't take decisions.. I hated you, probably the last role you could play in my life..
I don't hate you. You did nothing. But you didn't stop it happening in your surroundings. You became the uncle who didn't do anything but since was another uncle so I thought you'll be the same..
You were not that cousin but you were another cousin..
We never travelled into the same bus but you're also an unknown stranger to me.
We were never in a relationship but I'm scared to go to a party with you, eat and drink with you and have pictures with you.
I'm not married to you but you will be married to someone..
I know it's not your fault. I don't hate you.
But I can't help others of my kind to have this hate for you.
Dear men, I'm sorry.