Sunday, 22 June 2014

डोंट कॉपी मी

तुमने मेरा स्टेटस कॉपी किया.. मैंने कुछ नहीं बोला..
तुमने मेरे कोट्स को अपनी बुक में एडिट कर के डाला, मैं चुप रही..
तुमने मेरी शायरी को फॉरवर्ड कर कर के खूब वाहवाही लूटी, मैंने तुम्हें माफ़ कर दिया
लेकिन सफिक्स "Licious" का ऐसा दुरूपयोग करके "Champilicious' 'kaantalicious' 'chaprasilicious' जैसे नाम बना कर originality claim करने वालो की Assilicious bamboofied insertification and taken out via mouthentic chillyflakesing sprinkling कर दिया जायेगा :)

ध्यान रखें, हम इज्ज़त से इजाज़त लेकर तसल्ली से तशरीफ़ का तानपुरा बजाते हैं.. आदाब!

पीएस: पिताजी से कहियेगा, या तो अच्छी कंपनी का लेते या सो ही जाते!


I like egoistic people who can define the fine line between attitude and arrogance, who can bow down in front of a superior with love and respect and equally support the juniors being a hope of someone being there to support.

I like people with high nose only when they are self made, I respect their egos only when they know how to control this dog. You're nothing for me if you've got an Iphone in 12th class and a honda car to travel to college.

Ego is to stand straight with high head to face the world not to stand stiff and look up.. don't forget that even to wear gold medal in your neck, you have to bow down your head in front of the evaluating authorities.

Moanday moanings!

The life being a Generalist-

Controlling the confrontations, denial, disagreement, diplomacy and deceptively mendacious personality of men and women 30-40 years elder to you not only requires firmness and clarity of logical and rational thoughts with valid notable evidences, instances and paradigms but also in-depth and handy knowledge of the perpetually changing, evolving, developing subject that creates conflicts of opinion due to years of experience Vs Management degree from reputed national and international universities; due to generation gap and due to entirely different demographical, cultural, lingual and ideological backgrounds.

I cannot be extemporaneous or impromptu in front of deeply scanning eagle eyes or the ears catching sonic waves holding the chair and running the organization.

Born out of literature and linguistics, spent first half of my life acquiring command over the first and second languages, yet fail syntactically at times, hate mathematics to the core being laziness as the sins of personality, grown up and nurtured among police diaries, human psychology, multi-religious ideologies, anthropology and anatomy, behavioural and acquired psychology, criminal- psychopathic and sociopaths' psychology - evolved me as a completely libral person to have an opinion that 'it's useless to have an opinion about anything' just because I think my measurement scale is perfect.. eh!

My work starts when the schools and colleges and universities see off the monsters in an attire of civilized kings. I keep check on their gates of exits where the barbarians inside the civilized aces perpetually rebel to breathe in open sky.

I am surrounded by kilos of babbling and gibberish and encrypted management woodoo scripts by philip kotler, koontz O'donnell weihrich, freeman, stoner from Anita desai , Wordsworth and Coleridge.

I research over under beside beneath inside and outside the Human Resource Management policies, contrast and comparison of the learning and development asla-baarood among nestle, tata, itc, iskimaki and uskebaapki..
I eat Psycholinguistics, Sociolinguistics and neuro-linguistics and sleep on katamba and cristel. I articulate weird voices in such a manner that the aliens from mars can misinterpret it as their women moaning for orgasm!!

Once I was a writer exploting the senses with darkest fantasies of my reader and today I am given ears by HODs of entertainment , hospitality, hotel and corporate sector; I am still a writer and I write 20 times more than I used to do but the genre is diversified.

I still hold the reigns of eroticism and amore but now with a deep analysis of human behaviour.

I am just in my 20s and I want to unlearn the things to live my life normally. It's also abnormal to have a obsession for perpetual progress in knowledge acquisition.

But at the end of the day it makes my father smile to see her daughter picking up where he retired, to hold the bench among the aces..

..and that's what gives me serenity when I sleep.

Don't hate me for my extended verbose people.. this is the only thing I do of my free will nowadays twice in a month..

P.S envy me people.. I have an off today!

Saturday, 21 June 2014


Some relationships can never grow up because growing up ends the relation. Immaturity and being childish is something what bonds it. Not all relations are driven by two tires, very few are the ones like enjoying a water boat ride.. one pushes the paddle and the other enjoys the sights and water.
Don't get tired because you're the knee joint of this relationship that bears all the weight of the body. I'll replace you the day I know I'm alone in the boat and now I have to push the paddle to survive in the water.
Sleeping together in each other's arms with aching head and swollen eyes because we fought and now gave went to the anger and created the space to feel the love.. which is ending the moment with my head hidden under your chest and your pecks on my wet eyes..
Some relationships are so extreme that they're based on fights and anger, disagreement and disappointments.. The expectations are so high that it breaks with a blink of the eyes.
Still do you need support to understand that till you love each other, you will fight and give pain to your lover and you're in a true relationship, loyal and dedicated to each other till you've got the power to hurt.. The deeper the hurt the deeper you exist in each other's life..

You matter the most that's why your things hurt the most and you both take pleasure from it because to cure the extreme pain of accusation and blaming, the extreme love you make, and it calms everything down and things go back to normal.

You're whole world to each other and the sick world call you love sick..

The normal, logical human inside you conflicts with this strange desire and crave for love and you decide to quit the ritual of your love by setting yourself apart.. by break ups. .

And yet that hurts the most. Unbearable crave to touch and rest in peace in your lover's hug. The lust to rape each other on the bed and to make love to any extreme. . The horniness and the wild beast inside you.. you know it.. your soul mate loves the animal inside you and feeds it.. your lover is the onky person on earth you want to make love to, you just can't get physically involved or even if you do involve with someone else; nobody can satisfy you in the same way.. you naked your soul in front of your lover that's the reason only that person knows in and out of you.. seen the worst version of you, yet kept standing to embrace the ugliest face of yours..

You both dominate each other and you submit only to each other.
You love the bondage of trust. The pearl of trust which is covered under the shells of insecurities, doubts, obsession, hate, expectations, jealousy, envy, and possessiveness.

You crave for each other's madness and that madess to get you, to have you forever.

The sadistic stimulation to rule over your lover mind body and soul. The sadomasochism is the purest way to express your love.. You're her submissive dominant and she's dominantly submissive to you.. 

Respect the heated moments and understand the disagreement, it's just a normal portrayal emotions by abnormal people in this hypothetically normal weird world.

 - Note - This work is written under the study of Erotic and romantic aesthetics I'm researching about. based on psychological study and understanding of relationships.


जो बरस सके तो कुछ ऐसे बरस रे मेघा, 
जैसे पी मोरा तन छू जाए, 
नाभी पर चुपके से मोरी, 
चूमे और सिहरन दे जाए, 
बूंद नीर पग झांझर बांधे, 
वक्षों पर मोरे थिरकाए, 
अंग अंग मोरा बनके मयूरा
रसिका सा पी का मन भाए, 
जो बरस सके तो ऐसे बरस लीजो
प्रणय मिलन मेध अरू धरा का
जो पी देखे तो रोक न पाए
बिसर के अपनी चाक-चाकरी
थामे चूनर - उर मोरा लजाए
कर निर्वस्त्र पी के यौवन को
ताप-श्वास मुझमे समाए
कर मुझे तू उसकी राधिका 
कान्हा वो मेरा हो जाए, 
जो बरस सके तो बरस रे मेधा
जो पी से मिले मेरा देह बरस जाए, 
प्रफुल्ल मनु मनमीत मिलन हो
नूतन प्रेम अंकुरित हो जाऐ
कर मुझको तुझ सा बावरा
मै बरसूं और पी मुझमें रमाऐ..

Wednesday, 4 June 2014

In A Committed Relarionship

No situation is ever so worst in any relationship that could not be overcome.. it is just people stop making the same 'efforts' to MAINTAIN it the way they made to GAIN it..

.. holding the argument that "A relationship is two way efforts" -- well, wasn't it one way when you took weeks/months/years to convince your lover to accept your 'proposal' of commitment and promises to stand by each other no matter whatever it takes..

You failed to try once more, once again.. you failed not because you couldn't succeed but because you quit trying to achieve your lover 'once again'.

You never asked for your lover's permission or support to 'fall' for his/her love.. but you seek full support and cooperation to repair the broken glass..

Ask yourselves, did you make the same efforts to maintain it? Wouldn't it be better if you hadn't TAKEN FOR GRANTED and repeated the same mistake/ cause/ situation that shattered your lover's trust/ emotions / sentiments / desires / dream?
Only if you had cured the infection the then and not created the same environment again and only if you wouldn't have stopped making efforts to revive it.. 

It's not about being a man or a woman to initiate, nor it is about playing upper hand- it is all about the feeling you had when you were together in bed, or laughing over phone calls or holding hands in long drive.. 

A relationship is just like a plant - you have to nurture it forever with same efforts to keep it alive. The life long responsibility is called ' in a committed relationship'.

Tuesday, 3 June 2014

Confession of a rake


"Men.. they're just an another source of my live entertainment.."

.. Would have forgiven you, just like some other day.. Could have rolled back to the missionary fashion of dealings with you..
Should have killed you when you chose infidelity - even in the thoughts..
Was I just a slice of meat on your bread?
To enjoy, to relish, to satisfy the crave of your manhood? Or was it all just the journey to sending me in the brothel of love..? The path you showed me filming my eyes with dreams, my heart with desires, my existence to complete you , YOU being the origin of my thoughts and the horizon of efforts to make you happy..

I was a princess insulted like a whore.. who to blame? You My king? Who could never step out of his narcissistic Dominion.. Or the woman in profession of barter of body and soul? Or myself? To have such a weak dedication that your hate won over my love?

I see you enjoying my tears when I spread myself on someone else's bed, when the vultures eat the flesh from my numb body.. Exactly the was you demanded me to be-- "to be your whore"..
..Given you the keys of trust to lock me safely inside your arms, remember each time there was a theft in the security of your love lock- I begged to protect me and never let me go an inch away from you?
..and you never could overview your own security system blinded by prejudices of experienced planning..

Did everything to love you my love.. And would still do.. Anything to feel you..
Laugh louder so that my groans couldn't reach you.. Scream and shout to the level that the sound of slaughterhouse can't reach you..
Forgiving you is the easiest thing I did always, forgiving myself isn't my thing, like you said ' I adore the pain'...

Come, bed like me with everyone and feel 'how much I loved you'..

Last pages of my maroon diary - Himadri."