Friday, 30 August 2013

I am single yet committed.

Being a writer doesn't mean you're a toad of the well, you have not seen the world, you are an immature and impractical nerd and have no experience of the "Real World" just because you sit all day long in your study, rather, it is the blessed clairvoyance that we see the world with a different perspective.

Why writers are single/separated? Not necessarily, but yes they are.

The fact is, they are deep in love yet single for the world. There is always a certain imaginary lover, who is the perfect "man/woman" to the writer.

They are always happy with 'The lover' because he(she) is just the way one wants. It is not like, the imaginary lover and the writer never fight or argue, but the understanding and bonding is so warm that no matter what, they are always together.

The lover always take care of the writer and stands by her (his) side. Every night they sleep together,make love and share some beautiful moments.

All the stories and writings are dedicated to the lover. Most of the times, This imaginary lover has no name and a blurred image but the presence is always felt.. The smiles, the tears, and all the writings (usually that contain feelings and emotions) are the proofs.

The writers know, that there is nobody in this real world who can be as perfect as that imaginary lover. who can love, respect, stand by the side, take care, make smile and understand like him/her..

This is the reason, we are single yet loyally committed.

Thursday, 22 August 2013

Chomu's Sister


Once upon a time there was a small house near the bank of a river. An old man Dadaji and a small girl Pinki and her brother Chomu lived there . Pinki's parents were eaten by Sheru the mighty tiger of the woods.

One fine morning Dadaji went to the jungle to fetch some woods to cook but didn't return. Pinki and Chomu were hungry but couldn't find anything to eat.
Chomu said "Didi Let's go to the wood and find Dadaji, we can find some fruits too"
Pinki was afraid to go to the woods because of the mighty tiger Sheru but Chomu insisted her and they agreed to go to the jungle.

With their small steps, holding the hand tight, both kids marched towards the jungle to find some fruits and Dadaji.

The more they were walking the more the black woods were engulfing them inside the darkness.

Suddenly they saw the bushes moving, scared Chomu ducked behind his sister. A big snake came out of the bushes and looked at the kids.

Pinki asked," dear snake,
we are kids and our grandpa is lost,
we are small and hungry, please help, Have you seen our Dadaji?

Snake said," I'm hungry too, I will tell where is your Dadaji, but I will eat your brother.

Pinki said,"I have only one brother but you have the whole jingle left, we promise to bring you some food if you tell where is our grandpa?"

Snake said," okay, bring a rat for me. Go straight and turn right.

Pinki and chomu walked towards the direction the snake told and they found a big rat.

Chomu," Didi look! A big fat rat.

Pinki asked," dear rat,
we are kids and our grandpa is lost,
we are small and hungry, please help, Have you seen our Dadu?

Rat: Yes I have seen an old man with a saw on his shoulder. Is he your grandpa?

Pinki :" yes yes where is he?"

Rat:" what should I get in return? I am hungry too"

PinkI:" I will tell you where is the big corn hidden in the ground of you tell where is our dadaji?"

The rat agreed to tell and Pinkie lied to the rat and sent it to the way where they came from and saw the snake.

Pinkie and Chomu went on the direction the rat told and saw their Dadaji sitting alone. He lost his way and couldn't find anything but some bananas. Chomu and Pinkie had those bananas and walked towards the home happily with their grandfather.

While returning home, chomu asked pinkie "Didi why did you lie to the rat but fulfilled the promise of the snake?"

Pinkie kept quiet and walking.

When they all reached the exit of the jungle, The same snake appeared. He appreciated and thanked pinkie for fulfilling her promise.

After reaching home pinkie said to Chomu," Snake was a powerful, he could eat you, if I wouldn't have promised him the rat.
If I'd not given him the rat he never allowed us to exit the wood as well. I lied to the rat because he had the piece of information but wanted something in return rather helping."

Chomu," but this is wrong.. you were unjust to the rat!"

Pinkie," so? We got our dadaji and came back home safe."

She continued, This is our society, we bow in front of the powerful people and never mess with them but never hesitate to exploit the weak for our own benefits, nowadays this is called smartness and not selfishness. All that matters is the end result and success, no matter if it is achieved by morality or cunningness.

Dadaji asked," where did you learn all this, I'm your guardian, I've never taught you such things?"

Pinkie," well, I live in twenty first century, I watch television, I witness the government, its course of actions and procedures, I go to the school where I face this discrimination on daily basis and above all more than parents and guardians we learn from our surrounded company, society and environment. If digressed, how much the acquired knowledge could be dangerous, parents fail to understand it. And this is an ancient tradition perpetuated by generations..
kids think we can fool parents and children are always kids for parents.

P.S.Do not try to find the moral of the story because we are left with no morality in the society. 


Thursday, 15 August 2013

What if you are married to a NARC? How to live with a Narc partner.

Know the hidden narcissistic people around you.

People who have a criminal mind had an abusive childhood.

It is really hard to deal with such people. Even if we do not take the criminals and talk about diminuendo - people who have a nature of fighting, yelling, getting frustrated at every small thing are the ones who had been bullied in their childhood.
In fact, they are insecure and feel less protected. They are rude and always have a so-called "cool" attitude. This nature can massively be seen in Males but females are no exception.
These types of people never listen to anyone, they regret their lives and blame the whole world for their downfall - that eventually leads to a sociopath nature.
They're abusive and usually ill-treat their Men, women, the members of family and children but never their friends and people they connect socially.They are bad with their near and dears but are great social animals.
If not physically they're harmful to emotional and psychological dependencies.They want things to happen in their way and hate all those places, people, and things which are out of their reach or they cannot have an access/ afford it.
E.G - I hate Audi, it's just a waste. (Because he cannot afford to buy it)
Angry and yelling- usual mood.

These people are good at talking
They're convincing and persuading. Best for sales and marketing.These people love to show off almost everything. Good liars and planners. They love to hurt (physically and emotionally). Usually, these people are among those who love to play with 'humans'. They are extremely horny and sadist of different levels. Can be a good life partner only if the other behaves and pleases according to their comfort and desires. These kinds of people always make their partners feel depressive and losers, especially. When she/he is/has the potential to do great in life.They are disrespectful and dominating.
Females married to such kind of men suffer a lot.

They extremely hate others' success mainly when they couldn't achieve the same thing.
They are creative, good in arts, with strong and artsy aesthetics.
Food-drink-music-movies-paintings-dance is some of their basic interests.
Less into sports and intellectual stuff.Quick-witted, Opportunistic, selfish and manipulative aces.They make big talks and promises but never can live up to them. These people,( if )can divert and polish these traits, become very successful people and if they fail to understand their weaknesses, lead to a sociopath and criminal life. They become the victim of infidelity and divorce. They usually are left alone in their life in old age and become irritated.

Image source Wikihow
The biggest question is 'how to deal with such people?'
These people are great company because of their fake 'cool' attitude. Good to hang out, enjoy, flirt, flings, fuck-buddies. They cannot handle responsibility and commitments, so they eventually ruin their love life, even if they stay loyal. They are undoubted, emotionally weak and express their emotion in anger. In case you're not related, detach yourself. But if you're in such condition/ relation where you cannot detach yourself.Accept that 'anger, frustration and chaos' is a part of your life.
Try to be pally and not bully. Do not order or direct this kind of people.

They are always in a 'know it all' mental state so never try to teach them anything. This is the reason why they're bad learners and not good into studies but creative and knows how to make money.
Keep fewer expectations because they cannot do anything for you. They do, only according to their comfort and leave no chance to show what they have done for you.
Eventually, when you are confirmed that you're dealing with this category the first thing you have to do is to focus on your life by not poking them. You cannot help these people and the only thing you can do is to secure yourself financially, professionally, emotionally and socially. Never make yourself cut from the world and have people in your life. If you've parents like this - the best you can do is - build a better life for yourself.

If you're married to such people and want a healthy relationship, be polite and gentle. you must understand and accept that they can never 'naturally' change or cured. Although it is a challenge to live with such kind of people if you try to focus on their good traits, you can lead a loving relationship.

To scream and create fuss is a part of their nature but they get calm quickly. They are physically grown up but stuck in the phase of their childhood where they needed a proper growth, love, care, understanding, and support. They still seek "only' the same attention and treatment.

The best part, dwelling with this category makes you strong and self-dependent because they fail to win your expectations, ergo, you have to do the things on your own. you become a successful parent/provider.

The only are you have to ponder and take great care is, never get affected by their negativity, have your own individuality because certainly, if you have chosen to live with them, you love them and the behaviour of people create an effect on your life because you act and respond accordingly.

So, better you do not take their behaviour seriously as they can never break their day by day layering shield of self-protection. Just understand they are complete losers and cannot do anything if you don't give them a reaction. They threaten because they are afraid and Insecure. In the pursuit of penetrating the same, you will just waste the precious time and emotion of your life.

Honestly, If you have an opportunity to run, run like hell.

Wednesday, 14 August 2013

Happy Independence Day???

Revered seniors and dear friends,
Today, 15 August 2013, we all are the citizen of the world's largest democratic country. We are free, liberal, independent and sovereign. We have honoured sixty-six years of self respect, development, growth and happiness, with many ups and downs, facing several social, economical, environmental and national bane and boon.
The best part of all these years was - we stood, fought, suffered, felt and celebrated together.
We were and we are united.

15 august, 1947, we attained freedom from British rule and today we are commemorating our Sixty-seventh independence day. But the fact is- earlier we were slaves to the British and now we are slaves to the whole world.

I am happy to witness the day but I don't want to paint myself in tricolour, nor do I want to be sarcastic like several other people, I am not raising socio-political issues and questioning the role of the government and leaders, social contract holders, any particular individual, group or political party.

I want to talk about 'Us'

Freedom is an individual perception.
Independence purports and implies different meanings to different people - and they all are right. For a teen - freedom may refer to the non-interference of his parents in his personal life,
For a man it may refer to his personal individual space to drink and enjoy his bachelorhood,
For women it may refer to the various - social, emotional, financial, mental, educational, sexual equalities, respect and rights,
Or to a couple it may simply refer to have their personal space in the society.

In fact whatever we consider Injustice to us, we refer it as the violation of our right to freedom.

Voltaire- The famous French writer of 17th century said
"injustice in the end produces independence".

And the American leader Brigham Young said “True independence and freedom can only exist in doing what is right"

Have we ever given a thought before asking and fighting for our rights - Are we doing right?

We complain, express our dissatisfaction and annoyance to individual or society for injustice and wrongdoings, have we ever asked ourselves why is this happening?

Why are we still slave to other countries, of others' ideologies, mentality and of others' desires? Why only speaking English and foreign languages make your social status? Why an iPhone is the real phone but not Micromax or Karbon? Why a brand is Gucci and Chanel but not Khadi? Why the foreign universities give birth to excellent breeds and not Indian universities? Why Starbucks and not any other? Why only "Foreign products and services" boost up your social status and you frown at the Indian ones?

No, Baba Ramdev didn't pay me to write this article nor do I mean to start the Boycott foreign stuffs movement all over again.

Why corruption exists? Why rapes and harassments take place? Why criminals and ill social elements cannot come to an end? Who are they? They are among, within and inside 'us'

How funny is that, even if we install the security cameras on each red light, the very next morning, would we find those cameras in the same place?

No, some of us will be selling those security cameras in Karol Bagh..

We are the ones who don't wear seat belts or drive our sports bike zigzag fast on the roads because our girlfriend is sitting at the back of the bike. To the max, it is just a matter of 500 bucks to the traffic police officer.

The right to freedom - Speech and expression do not mean we can say anything especially when we are some public figures holding social responsibilities, nor does it mean to throw the men behind the bars who speak against your wrongdoings because you have 'the power'.

Yes we can gather but it doesn't mean the freedom of association allows you to grope females while protesting at India gate.

Freedom to practice any profession doesn't mean you will maltreat service providers including labour class to sex workers.

Freedom of religion doesn't mean anyone can have the power of clairvoyance and become the father of a new religion to mislead and blindly play with people's faith or debase any other religion.

When we gained freedom, once , Jawaharlal Nehru was surrounded by people, an old lady came and grabbed his collar and asked "What did this freedom give me? I'm still poor, I'm still hungry, our country is divided...”

Nehru ji said “The freedom gave you the right that today you can grab the collar of the prime minister and ask questions"

We misinterpret and gift this misinterpretation to our offspring. We never question and when we do - we do it without having the notion of our deeds.

Independence – A state of not being influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion, conduct, etc.; thinking or acting for oneself, not subject to another's authority or jurisdiction; autonomous; free,
not influenced by the thought or action of others,not dependent; not depending or contingent upon something else for existence, operation, etc, not relying on another or others for aid or support.

Is this “Independence” really happy for “us”?