Sunday, 31 March 2013

The Sexually Harassing Smile

I was a theatre person and an upcoming actress. I was ambitious and hard working. I had full faith on my talent and I took a pledge to gain cover my destination without any support and illegal activity.
I won a drama competition and was awarded by one of the most renowned leaders and public figures of our society. He liked me and appreciated my work. I felt blessed by the words of this fatherly figure kind hearted man.

A few days back again in some theatre show I met him. I figured out he was keen to theatre.

He saw me and recognized. I felt so overwhelmed that such a known personality has recognized me. I pat my back and gave myself a self reward of motivation. I am talented and my work left an impression on the mind of the judge.

He asked me to meet in the office after the show.
I was happy.
I told my elder brother and he agreed to accompany me to the minister's office.
He came for obvious reason for a confidence, security and moral support.
He loves me so much and was really happy to see me growing.
He supported me at every stage of life.

We reached the minister's office. It was white and well designed.
Beautifully decorated and well served.
I waited in the hall and after a few minutes a man came and greeted us. He asked me to meet 'Sirji', who was waiting inside.

I looked into the eyes of my brother and he supported me with a smile.

I went inside. I was undoubtedly nervous and my heart was pumping high.

I made myself comfortable on the soft feathery couch.
Minister Saab was busy on phone. He looked at me and asked me to have a seat.
He took almost fifteen minutes on phone and meanwhile I was asked and served with Cold drink.
I was looking around his room.
Beautiful artificial flowers, lots of books, a small temple, a beautiful large portrait of national leaders and a few paintings of Buddha.

Coat hanging on the chair and he sipped water while talking on phone.

At times he looks at me and passes a smile and then again calls his assistants to delicate some work.

"What a busy man he is.
We criticize our politicians for no reason. They work really hard"
I corrected my mentality.

Finally after getting free from all phone calls he called me up to his table and I took a seat, smiling and confident.
My nervousness faded away in fifteen minutes and now I appeared to be extra confident and smiling.

He asked me a few questions about my career, family, ambitions and ordered his assistants for something to eat.

He enquired future goals and sources of income of my family.
He asked about my parents and my education..

I provided him with factual details and clarified that I had no Plans to step inside politics.

I was an artist and born to rule the industry.

Our chat continued for more than an hour and my brother waiting outside was in my mind.

I checked my phone a few times whether there's any message from Bhai.
After an hour or so when he was well informed about me he asked about my relationship status.
I felt awkward that why a man of my father's age is so very interested in my life.
I smiled and replied calmly that I was engaged and my fiance works in a leading software company, soon we are to be married.

He appreciated that and I felt a bit relaxed that he asked casually, with no prime reasons.

The he started talking about casting couch in Bollywood and my experience into it.
I firmly said I am against all these tantrums and I prefer to walk slowly but safe, keeping my dignity high.

He smiled and appreciated my high morals and said we lack women like me in the industry.
I felt proud upon myself and calmly said that it is individual preference and I do not bother anybody's life.

Then he further asked about my sexual orientation, that is if I am straight or bisexual.
I interrupted him in between and mentioned my brother waiting outside and I had to go.
I could sense the conversion digressing towards a wrong path so he must be aware that I am not alone or weak.
I could feel the 'male-instinct' in the environment and to be honest I was back to the phase of my nervousness.

He left his chair and started roaming in the room. He stretched his body. He didn't come near me but went to the section of his books and started looking at them and talking to me.

He gave me a long philosophical lecture of no pain no gain and business dealings.
The trends of industry and not to hype things.
He confessed his attraction towards me or to cut short towards my body.
I am now well aware of his intention and feeling insulted.
Thousands of leaches are running on my body when he looks at me.
He is disgusting, more than a tape worm.
I feel like ripping his heart out and chop him into small pieces.
Being a female, is it a mistake?
I am an artist, I do not sell my soul, my dignity.
I finally burst out and abused him. I cried and cursed him.
After all he smiled and asked me to calm down.
I couldn't. How can I? Why should I?
He has no right to live on this earth. He must die.

After all this thing he said he was checking me!!!
Checking? What the heck?
It made me a bit calm but I was still skeptical.
I asked him to take a leave and he allowed with a smile and for being helpful in future.

I came outside and my brother noticed my smudged kohl and red eyes.
He assumed some thing is wrong (if I was sexually assaulted because more than 1:30 hours I was in his room)
Without wasting a minute he asked me what happened. His angry face and raised voice made me scared to hell and I couldn't speak a word but cried loud.
He left me there and barged into the room of the minister.
The bodyguards and officials held my brother and stopped him to grab the minister's neck.
My brother had a fit of anger and this all was looking like so dramatic and like a scene in Bollywood films.
Or maybe this a natural response of a brother and appeared to me dramatic as I am a theatre person.
The minister stood calm and asked his guards to drop us out respectfully to the gate.

What else I can say.. My brother is into the jail, accused for drug dealing and I have finally slept with random ministers to help my brother out of the jail.
I should have slept with one bastard than many..
You may find this quite filmy and may be this was my mistake.. Real life is far more pinching than reel life..
I have many more things to say, to tell my mistake to get over excited to meet a powerful person, to forget that I am just a girl- part of 6 billion people.
That I tried saving the woman in me..

N.B : It is a conversation crafted into conversation, a script is yet to be developed and edited.
Any questions, comments, suggestions are welcomed. Please feel free to post in comments!


  1. The irony of life, or may more of being a woman!
    Spicy outside, Bitter inside
    There are so many shades to a woman but why does lust take over everything when it comes to talking about or with the female fraternity?
    This custom is everywhere, you give me ur body and I'll give u money and fame. What the heck is it! When is the mindset going to change?

    Well written

  2. There must be a way, that’s what I always think, to break the vicious circle that’s around us. Its just power and power that rules in this age, with the common man, down under, the under dog fighting for being an equal.