Sunday, 31 March 2013

The Sexually Harassing Smile

I was a theatre person and an upcoming actress. I was ambitious and hard working. I had full faith on my talent and I took a pledge to gain cover my destination without any support and illegal activity.
I won a drama competition and was awarded by one of the most renowned leaders and public figures of our society. He liked me and appreciated my work. I felt blessed by the words of this fatherly figure kind hearted man.

A few days back again in some theatre show I met him. I figured out he was keen to theatre.

He saw me and recognized. I felt so overwhelmed that such a known personality has recognized me. I pat my back and gave myself a self reward of motivation. I am talented and my work left an impression on the mind of the judge.

He asked me to meet in the office after the show.
I was happy.
I told my elder brother and he agreed to accompany me to the minister's office.
He came for obvious reason for a confidence, security and moral support.
He loves me so much and was really happy to see me growing.
He supported me at every stage of life.

We reached the minister's office. It was white and well designed.
Beautifully decorated and well served.
I waited in the hall and after a few minutes a man came and greeted us. He asked me to meet 'Sirji', who was waiting inside.

I looked into the eyes of my brother and he supported me with a smile.

I went inside. I was undoubtedly nervous and my heart was pumping high.

I made myself comfortable on the soft feathery couch.
Minister Saab was busy on phone. He looked at me and asked me to have a seat.
He took almost fifteen minutes on phone and meanwhile I was asked and served with Cold drink.
I was looking around his room.
Beautiful artificial flowers, lots of books, a small temple, a beautiful large portrait of national leaders and a few paintings of Buddha.

Coat hanging on the chair and he sipped water while talking on phone.

At times he looks at me and passes a smile and then again calls his assistants to delicate some work.

"What a busy man he is.
We criticize our politicians for no reason. They work really hard"
I corrected my mentality.

Finally after getting free from all phone calls he called me up to his table and I took a seat, smiling and confident.
My nervousness faded away in fifteen minutes and now I appeared to be extra confident and smiling.

He asked me a few questions about my career, family, ambitions and ordered his assistants for something to eat.

He enquired future goals and sources of income of my family.
He asked about my parents and my education..

I provided him with factual details and clarified that I had no Plans to step inside politics.

I was an artist and born to rule the industry.

Our chat continued for more than an hour and my brother waiting outside was in my mind.

I checked my phone a few times whether there's any message from Bhai.
After an hour or so when he was well informed about me he asked about my relationship status.
I felt awkward that why a man of my father's age is so very interested in my life.
I smiled and replied calmly that I was engaged and my fiance works in a leading software company, soon we are to be married.

He appreciated that and I felt a bit relaxed that he asked casually, with no prime reasons.

The he started talking about casting couch in Bollywood and my experience into it.
I firmly said I am against all these tantrums and I prefer to walk slowly but safe, keeping my dignity high.

He smiled and appreciated my high morals and said we lack women like me in the industry.
I felt proud upon myself and calmly said that it is individual preference and I do not bother anybody's life.

Then he further asked about my sexual orientation, that is if I am straight or bisexual.
I interrupted him in between and mentioned my brother waiting outside and I had to go.
I could sense the conversion digressing towards a wrong path so he must be aware that I am not alone or weak.
I could feel the 'male-instinct' in the environment and to be honest I was back to the phase of my nervousness.

He left his chair and started roaming in the room. He stretched his body. He didn't come near me but went to the section of his books and started looking at them and talking to me.

He gave me a long philosophical lecture of no pain no gain and business dealings.
The trends of industry and not to hype things.
He confessed his attraction towards me or to cut short towards my body.
I am now well aware of his intention and feeling insulted.
Thousands of leaches are running on my body when he looks at me.
He is disgusting, more than a tape worm.
I feel like ripping his heart out and chop him into small pieces.
Being a female, is it a mistake?
I am an artist, I do not sell my soul, my dignity.
I finally burst out and abused him. I cried and cursed him.
After all he smiled and asked me to calm down.
I couldn't. How can I? Why should I?
He has no right to live on this earth. He must die.

After all this thing he said he was checking me!!!
Checking? What the heck?
It made me a bit calm but I was still skeptical.
I asked him to take a leave and he allowed with a smile and for being helpful in future.

I came outside and my brother noticed my smudged kohl and red eyes.
He assumed some thing is wrong (if I was sexually assaulted because more than 1:30 hours I was in his room)
Without wasting a minute he asked me what happened. His angry face and raised voice made me scared to hell and I couldn't speak a word but cried loud.
He left me there and barged into the room of the minister.
The bodyguards and officials held my brother and stopped him to grab the minister's neck.
My brother had a fit of anger and this all was looking like so dramatic and like a scene in Bollywood films.
Or maybe this a natural response of a brother and appeared to me dramatic as I am a theatre person.
The minister stood calm and asked his guards to drop us out respectfully to the gate.

What else I can say.. My brother is into the jail, accused for drug dealing and I have finally slept with random ministers to help my brother out of the jail.
I should have slept with one bastard than many..
You may find this quite filmy and may be this was my mistake.. Real life is far more pinching than reel life..
I have many more things to say, to tell my mistake to get over excited to meet a powerful person, to forget that I am just a girl- part of 6 billion people.
That I tried saving the woman in me..

N.B : It is a conversation crafted into conversation, a script is yet to be developed and edited.
Any questions, comments, suggestions are welcomed. Please feel free to post in comments!

Friday, 29 March 2013

Good Friday.. Better Saturday.. Best Sunday..

Friday , Day 1

7:30 AM 

He said '' baby are you not going to gym today?''
I grabbed his collar, pushed him on the bed and said ''kissing is a good exercise, let me do in for 40 minutes'' :D

12:45 PM

Heavy rain and he stopped his car, held my neck and smooched me.
Outside rain and inside warmth of our bodies covered the windows of the car with mist. Within the blink of eyes he grabbed me in his arms and smooched me.
'Wait! There are people outside.'
"Nobody is there." and he pulled me in his arms kissing my neck and touching my bosoms.
This romantic weather carried me away and I broke my rules of not making love in public places 'I wanna taste you' I said in hissing voice and his hands moved inside to pull my leggings down.
I was all his with my closed eyes and I wanted him to rule my body in this rain.
Making love in sedan is awesome, specially when it's raining not only cats and dogs but also blue whales and dinosaurs.
He is manipulating my intentions and made an O-to-O deal.
His trademark Omelette for Orgasm! And today I got big delicious Omelette Sandwich. ♥

Before hiding my face into his chest and take an off to la-la-land!

I am always skeptical when he behaves sweet.
He was working on some scripts. I came from behind and snatched his laptop.
'Hey, wait, what? I am working babe!' Said he, getting disturbed.
'So?' Work on me too. You must exercise two times, you see! 40 minutes more.
I said teasing him and making a sweet innocent face.
He widened his pupil and said " I am a human. Have some mercy on my junior milady"
I said, giving airs to myself 'Ummm.. Okay then say some beautiful words for me if you want your laptop back"
I raised my nose in air and shrugged my shoulder, " Please Proceed Director Saab"
He jumped over me and squeezed me in the bed and started cuddling me a lot.
I was laughing like 'fit-caught-cow' and my eyes were wet. I pled him to leave me and promised not to disturb again.
He stopped then and said kissing my tears rolled down of laughter.
"Nothing else is important than you love and yes, you are beautiful.
The lady of my life and you have full right to suck my account balance"
He laughed.

Ah.. The last words gave peace to my soul.. I was about to ask for shopping.. :D

Wednesday, 27 March 2013

The White Colour Of Holi..

"Happy Holi.. Let me Paint you White"
Since morning he was acting like the romantic superstar of Yash Raj Movies. Romantic dialogues with winks and flying kisses, maybe because he knew I would set him free. He could booze, dance, have bhaang and whole day he can kick his adulthood and enjoy the insanity of The Holi.

He had started teasing me since morning. “I will have lunch at Subhash's". He grinned every time he took the name of Pooja Bhabi and it made me feel pissed.

Pooja is a flirtatious lady and favorite to all her brothers in law because of her deep necked blouse and transparent saree and this is Holi - A festival of tease.
I did not say anything and took it as a sport but inside my heart that devil woman was cursing Pooja for her "MILF’iyat"

After following the stereotyped blessed dry Holi with the adults we, for childish insanity, moved to his cousin- Subhash's. He owns a dream big penthouse - Big pool, barbecue, Personal bar and a beautiful terrace garden, so, he organizes Holi at his terrace, every year.

Our car was already looking like “Holi Cow" and the balloon-bombardment from the kids of society were aiming our asses. As we stepped out of our building, we were saved by one step to get wet in that stinking shower.

“Idiots!" he spoke aloud at those giggling chaps. I controlled my mirth but his eyes caught me. "What are you laughing at?" he asked raising his brows.
"Happy Holi!" And I winked.

We hastily comforted our butts in the car and took off for the road to our destination. Radio was overflowing with the ancient songs without which the festival seems to be incomplete and some dingy RJ was uttering Hola-Lola on every station, I was shuffling.

Not much but roads were stained with colours of Holi and it was a moving traffic. Meanwhile a few phone calls of  Holi wishes entertained us and we being 'typical family people' were discussing about our relatives, to be honest, we were bitching about Mama's brother's cousin's wife's brother's daughter's boyfriend - who cleared UGC-NET yesterday.

As we reached at Subhash's the 'Athanni-Gang’ (the kids) attacked us with water guns and we were welcomed warmly. The ladies caught me and dragged me to the kitchen and Pooja Bhabi hugged me. Her heavy balloons suffocated my Oranges and I managed to glue my 'Air Hostess ' smile.

Around eight families were there with kids flying on the tune of the legendary songs and messing the hall with wet chappals and dripping clothes. Mothers of the little devils were shouting like factory alarms to shoo them away on the terrace.

I could smell the mouth watering and stomach wobbling smell of  BBQed birds and I saw the coal coated smoke possessing my man too. We looked at each other’s eyes and my bon-vivant said “Let’s go and play Holi”

I arrested his intentions to soak his throat in alky and chew the flesh.

We all marched towards Subhash’s beautiful terrace garden. It was a giant terrace, perfumed with London Roses, big beautiful Dahlias, beautiful pink Raspberry Surprise, Lupines and Gladioli. The mezzanine was dressed with Morning Glory and Violets. A beautiful eye-charming mini heaven-like place to celebrate the Holi.

Along with the eight relative families there were some friends’ families too so it was a big Holi-Day. As we stepped in the terrace, the undercover agents with monkey-painted face attacked on us with colours in hand. After some colourful battle of ladies and gentlemen we found ourselves hard to recognize.

Yes! Now, We were monkey faced too.

The copyright Holi ‘Rang Barse remixed with Gangnam style and Dubstep’ was awesome and we all started dancing. I had a constant eye on him and his actions. Typical Woman I am, counting his pegs and glass of bhaangs.

Sheena, my cousin came running towards me and gave me a big glass with a grin.
“What?” I said surprisingly. She winked and said “Gatak jaao Mayuri Didi” (bottoms up sister) I smiled at her with broad shining eyes and took the glass. “Just, a few sips. It’s not home” and I took four big sips of Thandaai.

Sheena and I used to take vodka shots, and this was our top-secret till I got married to Kabeer. I tried to hide it for a long but men are men. He made me drink on the third day of our honeymoon because we had to try something “kinky’ and I bragged about my dildo-tales to him. Next morning, I tried to escape our eye contact till he reined me on the bed after his lunch.

Anyways, coming back to the deliciousness. I ate some Pakodas and Fries, some Kebabs and Tikkas and fatigued in half an hour. Dizziness and mirth made me sit on the couch for a while. Kabeer came near me and pulled my hands to dance. He wrapped his arms around me. ‘Oh..! He is high on booze!’ I confirmed myself.

He embraced me lovingly and started making some moves on the song. I loved it and accompanied him. His tipsy moves were making me high but I was conscious that we are not at home and surrounded by relatives. I was happy to see him enjoying at his best. I could feel his broad chest through his semi-aqueous clothes. The ‘Abeer of my wet Kabeer’ always casts a spell. He understands the beckon of my smile whenever he comes out of bathroom; wet and fresh aroma of his skin is rousing. He seduces me silently every morning.

“Did you eat anything?” He asked whispering in my ears. His warm voice on my wet skin gave me heebie-jeebies and I gasped, “Ye..Yes, now let me go, people are eyeing us.” He understood and freed me from him arms and moved towards Pooja. The insecure woman inside me became conscious and I accompanied Kabeer to colour Pooja Bhabi.

After a while Subhash called everybody and asked to have the lunch. I was all in colour, so, asked Sheena to come along with me to the washroom to get fresh. Sheena and I went downstairs and she showed me the way to Pooja Bhabi’s bedroom.
After a few minutes someone knocked at the door of the bathroom. I had soap all over my face, so, I asked slowly
“Who’s there?”
“Mayuri, Open the door.”
“Kabeer? Wait I’m coming outside, just, two minutes.”
“No, Open the door, Right now.”  And he kept tapping the door that made me open it.

My face was all covered in soap and I managed to open my eyes a little to know the matter of his hurry. “What happened?” I thought after drinking too much now he needs to get a leak.
Nothing, come here.” And he wrapped his arms around my waist while was bent down to the wash basin to wash my face.
“Tch, Leave me Kabeer.” And I pushed him away.

By now I was well aware of his demands and intentions. It was the alky that made the devil dance on his head. He walked towards me in that big bathroom. I smiled at each of his steps heading towards me. I could feel the warmth of my body and the demand of navel hidden under my Saree.

He came near me and looked deep in my eyes. My lips craved for the bitterness of his alcohol marinated saliva. He has unique style of smooching that binds me, when he sucked my tongue slowly but gives his deep in my throat. Exactly the way I play with his little boy which is not so little. His eyes scanned me and stopped at my neck. ‘The Beauty spot’

He bent down a little and licked my neck. His tongue injected the drugs to my veins as he grabbed the flesh around my waist and pulled me near. He was all prepared to undress me, right there, forgetting the place and the occasion.

I could feel, how hard he was, and probably he read the unspoken desires of the juicy strawberry. We were standing and he lifted me up . My bosom were inviting his tongue solve the quest. He kissed my belly and rubbed his face. Then a bit more up, he lifted me and tongued my navel. I moaned his name and he dug his tongue deeper in my navel. I locked my fingers in his curly hair and got carried away by the ocean of pleasure flowing inside me.
He again sucked my navel that tuned the best music and I pulled his hair to come out of that unbearable pleasure.

He battled with my saree and asked me to show my coloured body. I denied and the denial made him wild. He pulled my Pallu and wrapped his arms around me. The increasing palpitation of my love-leaves making me go wild and I groaned looking deep in his eyes.
He turned my face to the wall and started nibbling my neck, my ear lobes and my cheeks. I was losing my control. He was seducing me and I still had those four large sips, running in my nerves. He lifted my Saree and touched my thighs to unlock me with his fingers.

All of a sudden Sheena knocked at the door and asked me to come at the terrace to have lunch. She broke the spell. We looked into each other’s eyes and he left the washroom saying, “Let’s go home, As soon as possible.” I knew he was going to throw me on the bed and undressed my beautiful white thighs to bite them. My long well shaped legs were his turn on and I have already kiss-opened the unstoppable beast. The story is yet to begin, I am sure, tonight; he is going to paint me tip to toe, in white.

© All Rights Reserved. Himmilicious.
Published Link Page 15 onwards

Friday, 22 March 2013

The Confession of a Woman

This is a summary of a conversation I had with my friend.

March, 22, 2013
Lavazza, Connaught Place
New Delhi.

She had been in love relations for eight times.
And for all the eight times she was loyal and dedicated.
Never cheated, never stepped out, no infidelity but a pure dedication.
She is 38 today and in a relationship

Over a coffee, I asked how do you feel being in relation.

She said, I am in relation because I need a man in my life.
The feeling of being loved, pampered and cuddled gone long time back.
I remember all my eight relationships and all I could learn, a woman can sacrifice everything for her man, to get loved, to have a home and children.
I needed it and I dreamt of it.
I gave myself many chances and tried not to repeat the mistakes of previous relationships.
Some left me because of their profession, they chose to work over a relationship.
And that's okay! Being a man, one has too many responsibilities, no one can fed by love and survive.
"Even to have sex you need energy"

Sometimes you have to let things go.. I have no grudges against all those eight men I dated. I just expected them to be dedicated as I was. They couldn't.
Some left me for flavor and taste. They had no feelings and after getting physically intimate, I am a woman, developed feelings.

So what do you expect from life now? Do you regret?
I asked.

She said, at times when I feel alone I do regret that I have wasted my life in search of this thing called true love. I am not against love or relationship, maybe that's why I am into one..

I asked her further, what did you get out of all this?

She said , to be honest I got nothing but some memories, by the time bad memory fades and all you remember some good ones.. I have them with me..
I have friend and family, I work and earn good. I live my life and it is kind of a smooth one. She continued.

I learnt a lot and you have to learn Himmi.

Taking further sips and munching, she continued..

Never blame men they have too many responsibilities because they live in a country where they are being taught to take up the burden since they get an erection.
Don't blame women even, it is okay to be in love.. And there's nothing to regret.
If you want to regret, feel guilty how you wasted the time by not being practical.
I am still not grown up and I still fight like a teenage girl.
But I never let my work affected. Hope you understood and I made sense!

Yes, love can fill your stomach but only for nine months.. I said with a smile.

We both chuckled and now I am heading towards Keventers in CP...

Monday, 18 March 2013

In Conversation with "Myself"


I took a sip of cognac with four cubes of crystal clears and asked myself, am I way too serious in my life?
My brows curled up and I closed my eyes, maybe I was fighting those tears to escape from the fencing lashes.
And they won as I opened my small black eyes stroked with the pink shades of loneliness.

I was sitting in front of me.
I felt like a jellyfish kissed my toes with its stings.. I saw myself.. Sipping the cognac, smile shining on my lips.
I stammered, "wh..o are you?"

She said "I'm Himadri"

Himadri? So.. Who am I? Asked I with a widened labyrinth of my pupil.

"You're.. You're actually nobody.." she looked down upon me and said, sipping more that iced poison.

"No.. n.. No.. I am drunk" I kept my glass on the table.

"Maybe" she sipped more..

I was glued to the couch, I looked deep down those soul penetrating eyes and submitted.

"What do you want? Why are you here?" I don't want to talk to anyone, please leave I am sad.

She made a little curve to the left of her lips and smiled "why?" 

I sighed, my eyes were searching for answers in my toes.. "I don't know.. I am kind of lost.."

"No, you are not, you have just deleted the number of your best friend from your list"
said she, still smiling.
"Best friend? Who? I don't have! I.. I never had.. I.. " And I broke into tears..
"Do you feel alone?" She asked lovingly.
"No.. I don't.." I said convincingly

She rested her back on the couch and asked "what is it bothering you so much?"

"I don't know.. I just don't have any clue.. I am just in the middle of nowhere "
I looked into her eyes, I had a puppy face.

And she broke into a laugh.. "Because you're leading your life to nowhere"

''What do you mean? Am I depressed?" I raised my eyebrow and asked her.

"Certainly not, But rather than Convince yourself that you are the best... You have turned your car on the path of convincing it to others.." She said.

"What do you mean? I never try to prove myself to others!! Do I?" I said, confidently.

Wow! So sure about yourself? She asked provocatively.

Yes, I am! Because I am focused in my life. I am not confused what I will do next. I have gained the best. People crave for opportunities and they knock at my door because I concentrate on my task without expecting the results.
All these achievements, my satisfaction , my inner peace are evident to me being myself.

I was speaking without a pause, as if I am fighting for my right. And she.. Listening calmly, sipping the cognac and smiling at me being hyper..

"Really? She asked sarcastically "Who are you?"
"I am Himadri" I said in a comparatively louder voice.

She put her empty glass of Cognac on the table, leaned a bit and smiled.

Welcome back!
I asked "what?"

She said.. "At times, we need ourselves, we have all the answers to our questions and at times we are troubled by the answers because we cannot question ourselves.
Nothing has happened to you, you're not alone, you're not lagging behind.
You are just trying to compete with the time.
People crave to have a life like yours, did you forget that?"

I kept listening to her..

Life like me? I am no Bill Gates! Just an ordinary girl, more of a student and a daughter.. I said.

"Yes! And people crave for a life like yours.. She said with a calm face.
"To be a student, to have parents, to be ordinary..
You get the food three times a day, you sleep on Dunlop, you wear expensive clothes, you can pay your bills, you can read books, you have the power of expression.. And above all you have all your senses working, a healthy and fully functioned mind and body..
Millions of people crave for it.."

I kept mum for some time..

"But.. Why to compare my life with incapable ones? Why not with those who hit the jackpot, whom I want to be?"
I said stepping towards the same disheartening chamber.

"Why do you compare at all?"

Her question made me blank!
I did not have an answer. I started looking nook and corner of my possible logic to support my answers but I failed..

"Umm.. Maybe that's how the world runs, everybody does it.. They crave for others lives, they feel jealous and get depressed by others achievements, they think and over think and cry for not having THAT life, even you said earlier, some people crave to have my kind of life"
 defeated her in argument, the table turned. The balls are in my court.. I smile thinking all this..

She pushed the empty glass to me, ordering, "fill it"
Why would I ? I asked to myself.

I felt egoist, proud and superior by turning the table and eventually I spoke " Do it yourself"
Hahahaha.. And she laughed at me..
I looked at her, confused enough "why would you laugh?"
"Those who compare eventually end up like you, when you compare to superiors, you fill yourself with the sense of being nothing and burn your wits in jealousy. And when you compare yourself to the lesser ones you blind yourself with ego and pseudo pride."
What did you get? You could not think logically! You couldn't be my friend! You couldn't make me your follower either or you couldn't take my guidance..

I looked at her with an open mouth and after a while, I said.. "This is not me, this was never me, who am I?"

And she said.. "You're Himadri"

She walked away and faded from my eyes.. I still had my glass full, raised level of cognac with the melted ice.
And it the glass contained all my dilemmas, questions and answers..

I found my answers in conversation with myself, I am my pathfinder, I am my best friend..

Saturday, 16 March 2013

Why do they call the princess, a whore?

I was going through Indian Poetics and eventually I felt like holding a point blank gun to my head and blow it down..

The sthayi, rasa, the ornamentation of AlanKara,

The school of aucitya.. And many more..

We run after English not because it is a globally accepted language or we are trying to excel ourselves into the language of superpowers but because English is comparatively easier to analyze..

If I try to simplify the position of Hindi..

It's something like those new age girls who are highly qualified, belong to a royal family, have a polished intelligence level, royally mannered and well behaved in attitude that she doesn't find a man of her match . All these traits inherited from her mother, Sanskrit who chose the class of elites..

She frowns and disgusts upon all those less standard men..

And people criticize her just because they cannot get her.. They've no level even to stand and look into her eyes..

Fools, what she considers, others are..

Just because men can't reach her, she is inaccessible and unreachable, she cannot be 'Get Laid' easily, people have started calling Cheap, low standard, a sin to reputation, see it with the eyes of disrespect and disgrace, insult it, spoil it's elegance..

-A slut!!

And the naked fact is, this ideology is inverted, accepted and continued by all of us.. men to women to children to forthcoming generation.. Without questing it..

Hindi is like that princess who is so beautiful and talented that she is virgin till her eleventh hour..

She is virgin, pure and royal.. Hence unreachable and just because of this.. She is discarded..

Losers have called her Low-standard..

And we believed it, unquestionably!

Just like the position of females in our society , they are disregarded by the "male-ego" running like the blood into social veins because they're not easy to rule..

For example we call all Bollywood heroines the high class sluts just because we can't reach them..

N.B: by male-ego I don't mean the gender but the ideology of being superior. Please don't create fuss by making it an issue of battle between sexes.

The emphasis is upon the language not people.



Tuesday, 12 March 2013

"Show me your tongue"

I love it when he wraps his arms around my waist from the back side, 
Rests his chin on my shoulder, touches his lips on my cheek and sometimes rubs his beard.. Kisses to my neck and smells my skin..
Hums nasally the instrumental of "tum aa Gaye ho.. noor aa gaya hai.."
And does nothing..

He leans over me because I am short and he is taller than me.. 
He puts his weight on my shoulders.. 
I can't see into his eyes, but I can feel his smile..
The serenity he finds in my body..
Sometimes he teases me pinching my bosoms and sometimes he frowns when I don't wear his crimson love..
And teases me "do chutki sindoor ki keemat tum kya jano meri jaanu"
I show him my tongue and frown at him..
He grabs me in his arms.. Tight and bound..
He: "Show me that tongue now"
I : tch.. na..
He grabs me more tightly that my heart can feel his giggling heartbeats.. 

Looking towards my lips he says.. "Show me"
I: iss.. erom koro na please. Onek kaaj kora baki.. (Don't tease me, have too much of the work)

 I say turning red, pretending and protesting..
He grabs me more..
And locks his soft lips with mine to bite that teasing tongue.. 

Friday, 8 March 2013

"The Fight"

I had a fight with 'Kabeer' last night. For no obvious reasons.
Maybe women are like this. Or maybe I am like this. I wanted him to understand the unspoken pain, which he cannot, no one can actually.
We did not talk last night and slept facing the opposite universes.
I missed his arms and the peace, it was a restless night.
He left for the gym without intimating me, actually without the morning kiss.
I woke up and searched for him in the bed. I forgot I had a fight last night.
I could not find him. Rubbed my half opened-red eyes and raised eyebrows at the clock.
I am Late...
Recollected last night and frowned.. 'huh..'

Love is what - when we take care of each other in anger as well.
So, I prepared his favorite chicken sandwiches, not in my style but the way he wanted - slightly crisped chopped onions and tomatoes.
He came back and no expression on his face. Neither Angry nor Calm.
I figured out.. 'He is angry' because he straight away went to the bathroom to take a shower.
I did not say anything and indulged myself into domesticities expecting him to come back soon and have the sandwiches.

After a while, he entered into the kitchen.
Tooth Brush in the mouth and a towel wrapped up towel around his waist.
I felt someone was standing behind, so I turned.

Gawked at him with raised questioning brows to hit up his weird presence that time at that 'Fancy Dress'
He did not say anything, turned off the burner, clenched my wrist and schlepped me to the bathroom.
My hands were messed with mashed potatoes. I didn't say anything but was unascertained to his intentions.
He pushed me into the bathroom, came inside and turned on the chilled shower.
I gasped as the water chilled my nerves, gave me goosebumps and my eyes couldn't manage to open with the load of water on my eyelashes.

He came more near, under the shower and turned my face to the wall..
No words have yet kissed each other but he kissed my neck.
'Uh..' he didn't kiss but sucked my neck.
The chilled water of unwelcome march winters and his warm tongue wafted the current into my veins.
He threw his towel and touched his warm chest to my back. My eyes were closed and lips were abashed.
His big palms strolled through my T-shirt and he unhooked my bosom.
Struggling with my night suit he explored my body and I knelt down to be the 'pun' of punishment..
After all, he made me cry last night.. And women are to revenge..
A flabbergasted Tit for tat..

Yes, we made love.. And left all egos, anger, differences, annoyances and complaints.
I came out with a smile and some rosy marks over my neck and he had his charming smile in his twinkling eyes..

No, you need not to sit and discuss the differences every time you fight.. You need not to look down upon each other and blame for the pain..

You need not to "talk' to chalk out the compromising solutions..

All you need is to 'let the love rule'..

But yes, do keep an eye on ticking clock.. Because he got late for office today.. :)

Thursday, 7 March 2013

Mocking The Flock

The mocking flock.

How unfortunate for an artist in India. I will not include the world, as I am not aware of the philosophy or I should say the 'followsophy'

The first review of a movie/book/painting or any work of art, deeply influence the rest of the reviews.

We do not read the book but judge it by its cover and keep on enchanting " Don't be judgemental"

You ask others "how is the movie?" and then your decision making power is marinated into the previous reviews.

If we take the burning example of Facebook, no matter how logical and sensible the topic is, the first comment ruins it all.

A few people come up with their own individual point of view.

You have not read Arundhati Roy/Shobha De/Salman Salman Rushdie, but criticize them for being Grotesque.

You have not watched/understood Fire or Black Friday but you are all up with black flags against Deepa Mehta and Anurag Kashyap!!

Even if you have read them, you are influenced by the views of media.

So is the case with our society, almost in each and everything..

We are prejudiced for the newly married girl to be ill-charactered because one of her relatives crisply gossiped about her previous relationship.

Because the news channels said in January that 'Dhoni is a useless player' we all tweeted about his failure and some days back, 'Dhoni is the next God of Cricket'

It ain't an aggrieved or vehement porthole of a piqued artist, but a catechism, a question.. "Why can't we have our own, uninfluenced opinion?"

Tuesday, 5 March 2013

Fir Se Kahin...

घबरा सी जाती हूँ ये सोच कर मैं,
मेरे घबराए हुए चेहरे पे तेरा नाम न पढ़ ले कोई,
तेज़ साँसे, ये थर्थाते लब,
हलके से तुझे पुकार न ले कहीं,
ये सुर्ख लाली मेरी गर्दन की,
बयां न कर दे, बीती रात को
कैसे समेटूं खुद को बता,
शर्मा कर, बिखर न जाऊं कहीं,
तू तो पत्थर दिल है,
तेरा क्या,
साँसों को बाँध कर, कुछ इस तरह,
तुझे जाना था, तू ले गया,
अजीब बेचैनी है अब इस रात में,
आ, भर अपनी बाहों में फिर से,
तेरी कस्तूरी की महक से,
बहक न जाऊं कहीं

You're leaving them...

Scene 1 -
Dad : Son, I want to know your academic progress and your future plans. Let's sit and talk!
You : What? It's my own life. Please "Gyaan na baatein"
Friend : Dude, sup wid ya studies eh? wot's next?
You: Damn man.. I am fucked! You know.. blah blahblah blubh.. baalbh.. blublubbhaah..


Scene 2 -
Mom : Why do you come home late? Why don't you help me in the kitchen? Why do you wear short clothes? You should....

You : (yelling and frustrated ) Please Maa, I am already screwed, Why the hell do you always disturb me? Do you even know about the society and today's fashion? Do you even go out and see what is the culture? I am not a maid, I have my own life with friends..
Boyfriend/friend : yaar, I am hungry..
You : wait baby, let me cook something ♥

Cut !

Scene 3

Lover/spouse : baby.. I am missing you.. Let's meet. I wanna make love to you.
You: I miss you too, Sorry I have to go with friends. Oh please you're always a sex maniac. Get some work, you're always free and get on my nerves. You're a loser. Yap! Yap! Yap!

Meanwhile a call : (leaving discussion in between) Oh hi..! Long time.. (Walks away)


Friend : Hey. Long time.. Let's meet..
You: Oh yeah.. But sorry yaar, Busy these days.. Cannot get thim out of work.. We shall, soon..!!
You : Staying alone, whole day at home.. And not at all working..


Well, there was no relation in above scenes, but yes a common character. “You”
What is my purpose of blahblahing this around? To draw “your” attention towards ‘You’

What are you doing? Technically “Leaving your loved ones and Running towards the unknown/new ones”
That’s a fact! How?

You hate your loved ones around, but because you are the social animals, you cannot be alone..
Yes!! You can cry and crib that “no one understands/loves you”
It’s you, who take out all your frustration on your family and friends? And frustration of what??
Trust me, You, yourself have no Idea about it!
Have you ever noticed how sweetly you talk to ‘others’ on the phone but how rude you are to your wife?
The way you treat your parents and how well you deal with people you meet ‘professionally’
How fast you change your ‘voice tone and facial gesture’

You are not same to everyone, that we can accept you as a frustrated-natured person!!

The point is : you behave like an unknown stranger to the loved ones and to the outer world, you portray to be the nicest-bestest-calmest-well-behaved-EST , This-EST and That-EST..
Yes, You’re earning the appreciation of others but how much your near and dear ones hate you.. you cannot count , dear!
The smile that your husband/wife deserves, you are gifting it to your opposite gender colleagues and boss.
The love that your parents and siblings deserve, you are giving away to your so called friends in charity.
The understanding your friends deserve, just because your inner conflicts and being fake, you’re losing them all...

Watch your actions.. In the process of socializing you are staking your real treasure..
- Family and Friends..

Monday, 4 March 2013

The Crimson Love

I smiled, was happy
Will meet him again,
After a long time..
Wore best of my lingerie
And the crimson saree,
I will commit the crimson crime,
I smiled and blushed to make my pouts pink
Perfumed myself to make him sink..
A bouquet of London roses
With a tag of Indian love..
I flew to him.. I am a dove..
....... .
I am shocked , I am dead
Skipped my beats
Who is she? With those black beads..
He is back in town
Married and bound..
I smile, I sink
The perfume and my pink..
Our eyes rendezvoused
I am crimson, still..
The color shifted to eyes that kill..

After a long time, I tried making my audio blog..
:-/ bad sound quality.. sounding too heavy.. 
I must find some way to improve it... 

Saturday, 2 March 2013

"She Rendezvoused with her Chimera"

"She Rendezvoused with her Chimera"
“You are late, sweetie”
Said Nivedita and spanked my ass to greet, the way she always does. I am eulogized for my round butts and curly long hair.
 “Uh.. Late? I am a woman, I take the time Honey” I said with the old college days winked smile.
“Aahan..” she said in a very enticing voice, And we both chuckled.
‘Where is our gang’ I probed as no one else came to receive me.
‘Oh.. They are inside, waiting for you. ‘They Should have come outside.. I frowned. 
‘Kanishka, they are men.. And its India Versus Australia, Riddhi and Sonal are in the kitchen, Namit is busy with Bruno and Here I am...”
She gabbed while entering in the house.

Nivi belongs to an affluent family but she is really down to earth and maybe this is the reason we enjoy each other a lot. I know her since my college days; She was my classmate, my roommate and my bed-mate.
Everyone considered as- lesbians and we used to ‘show off’, yes, we are... It was fun. But only we knew and a few friends that we were just best friends who were not shy to change clothes in front of each other.
Girls are nasty, shameless and too vulgar when they are open, unlike men. We don’t shy at our size. We can talk about anything and yes, we share nasty fantasies.

Nivedita is married to Abhishek, her one and only crush since college days, I remember “shake it baby” tease; we used to poke Abhishek with.
Namit – a six years cute boy, intelligent and extremely gorgeous, resembles his Mother. He loves his dog Bruno, the furious Saint Bernard.

Yes, Nivedita is a gorgeous lady. I always hated her for a strong metabolism.
I breathe and gain weight but she can survive upon pizzas and that cheese dipped Double chicken patty burger, her favorite and mine craves! Slurp!!

We entered in the room, she ordered her servants to take my luggage to the Guest room, adjacent to hers. Bruno started barking before I could breathe. I looked at Nivi’s face to save my soul. Nivi understood the SOS alert and asked Its caretaker to take it out. I gasped.
“I still hate dogs” said I apologetically.
“I know” She smiled. I love this shine on her lips, calm and understanding. ‘ I love her’  and I smiled too, at our Friendship..

“Shake it baby” I spoke aloud to distract the eyes of Abhishek from his LCD.
“Hey! Kannu.. And he paused the match, warmly welcomed me with a bear hug.
“Look at you girl, you have reduced, where are those
Ubigbigigly? Miss.Fatso?
I raised my brows and punched his abdomen “screw you”. We all chuckled.

Namit came running and hugged me from back, wrapping himself all around my waist. I turned and kissed him on Forehead.
“How was the journey fatso?”
“Don’t call her fatso..” A baritone hit my eardrums and I looked confused at Abhishek.
‘Ah.. meet my cousin, Rachit, Said Abhishek.

A tall, well build, French- bearded man headed towards us. By the time Riddhi- Abhishek’s younger sister came and wrapped herself around Rachit
“My brother is a doctor in AIIMS” She said with a pride, showing off her love towards him. We all chuckled at this.

Rachit ruffled her hair and smiled at me “ Hi..”
I Blushed and shook hands. He had beautiful big and soft palms.

We all headed towards the seating area and after a long journey all the way from Goa to Delhi, I rested my ass.
Sonal- Riddhi’s best friend joined us with smile and the maid came with some tea and eatables.
“ So, miss not so fatso..” How’s life? It’s good to see you after a couple of Years..
I wrapped my arms around Namit and rested my chin on his shoulder, touching his Soft, pink cheeks.
“Life is great. Yes, It has been more than two years..” And I looked at Nivedita lovingly with a smile.