Friday, 23 November 2012

marriage Vs Career

Hello friends!

One of my readers has shared his dilemma. I ask for your valuable suggestion to guide him. kindly provide him with best of your suggestions after respecting and understanding his questions properly.

"hello mam..i have been a subscriber to your updates since quite a long and i am a big fan..
mam i am a ca by profession and working in a company..i am turning 27 this December and i am making decent bucks and i am not satisfied when it comes to my career..
i am not dating any girl these days and i am looking forward to do arrange marriage..
last night i attended a marriage of one of my cousin and i saw one of her friend...i liked her looks..sensible..graceful and beautiful..when i enquired about her she turned out to be a BDS doctor..even better for me
she is in some distance relation with my aunty and i want to approach my aunty for taking up things but i am not being able to approach her..
i wish you to guide me on two points:
1. i am looking fwd to appear for civil services and quit my job.
2. last night changed my plan, how should this girl be approached..i think she is the best which i can have..she appeared to be made for each other..
i am all confused..please guide.."

My suggestion:
Dear Reader,
Thank you for your appreciation and seeking suggestion.
I am glad to know you are well settled, well educated and reaping good money. you seem to be a perfect man for any girl and you look good too.

1) you're C.A by profession and you are not satisfied by your profession :-
---> To be honest none of us are.
Try answering these questions: What career do you want?
Is it related to your same field? if yes, what additional qualification/experience you need to attain your desired level? If it is not related to your career, as you said you are looking forward to appear into civil services, PLEASE DO. but for this, do not quit your current salaried job. Money motivates you, and It's really hard to get hold on a job now-a-days. Leaving job will not be a sensible decision. If you have decided to take the toughest examination, for sure you know your caliber. Trust yourself, Plan well and Hit it! best wishes!

2) You're not dating anyone and looking forward for an arrange marriage. you liked a girl and want to approach her.

--> Please do not be confused. You don't know the girl yet. She is in distant relation with your aunt.You liked her looks? (sensible- graceful- beautiful and a BDS)
ALL GREAT! but you do not know her.
If you want to go for arrange marriage 'talk to your parents'. Do not try to be a superman and fly in red underpants. They will handle.
How to approach her? - well done boy! you've found the link "aunty". If you want to be in a relation with her before jumping into the valley of marriage, BEING A MAN YOU BETTER KNOW HOW TO WOO A GIRL.

I couldn't understand (last night you changed your plan) which plan? Marriage or career?

Marriage is a responsibility and a hindrance to your career. I am not against marriage but trying to explain you the consequences. you're 27, eligible bachelor and this is the time to chase your dream. Go for marriage after taking all attempts of UPSC. (and you have your job in your hands) Marriage imposes many social, emotional and financial responsibilities dear, You have to satisfy your wife and satisfy your dream as well.

to conclude,

1) let your parents talk about your marriage and "get married" (wish you to have a supportive wife who will stand by your dreams)
2) Go for a courtship with that girl followed by marriage after achieving your dreams.

Tried my best
Best wishes

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